You Can.

I’ve thought about this saying that “You don’t really know what you have until you loss it.” in different experiences I’ve had, and it keeps me wondering, “Do you really have to loss it before you know how much it means? Or before you appreciate it?” Especially if you had already made the mistake of not recognizing the value of what you had had before.

There’s this boyfriend I had, you can call him an ex. When we were together, there came a point when things tumbled, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but I knew I wanted to fix it. I really tried. But it takes two people to make a relationship work, even if one person has to be the force, the other one must let himself move with the force. But our case was different. I waited, I tolerated, I cried, I prayed, and I hoped. But those were the problem; the fact that I was still there. It seemed to him like I couldn’t live on my own. But I didn’t care. All I wanted was just him.

But at a point, I gave up. I gave up when I least expected, unplanned. I locked up completely and before I knew it, I had moved on. Work had help. Chanting with friends had help. Not that I talked about my feelings or my relationship with them, but the things we talked about had brought distractions to my loneliness.

Now, a year later, he’s back and coming back like we were never apart. Although every other guy I have ever dated comes back after making a mess and asking for a second chance, and it always seems like the word doesn’t exist with me, but with this guy, I don’t know how I particularly feel about a second coming. But he’s not even asking for a second chance, he thinks he can just fit in whenever he chooses, which is the attitude I hate most about him, arrogance.

When he asked how I have been, and I said I’ve been good. He said, “I can see you have been good. You have been good without me.”
Now, those words are mainly the reason I’m writing this post. You should know you can live without him, or without her. If you’re in a toxic relationship and you know the right thing to do is to walk away, but your heart keeps letting down because somehow you’ve convinced yourself you’d never be able to live without this supposed partner. I’m telling you you can do it. In less than a year time you’d realize you’ve been fine without him, you’ve fine without her.
Set yourself free.

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